snowboarding

well everyone can basically go and get fucked. i am going snowboarding and i dont care.

seeya

Too much excitement

After all that excitement, now I'm bored.

Arctic Insanity

When I decided to go to the Arctic, I had no idea how fucking dangerous it was going to be. Well, all I can say is that I just had the most full on hardcore driving experience of my life. I was reading about the Dempster Hwy, the most northerly highway in North America, how it was a 700 km gravel highway that you drove to Inuvik, the capital of Eskimoland.

White Everything
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

No one told me that it was 700 kms of ICE.
No one told me that you had to have chains.
No one told me that it was so cold and white that you start hallucinating.
No one told me that the end of your dick starts to freeze when you take a piss.
No one told me that the sides of the road crumble like meringue if you drive too close to the edge.
No one told me that everyone drives a truck or a 4WD and I was going to be laughed at in my little secretary's car, my rented Chevvy Malibu.

All Terrain Vehicle
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Well, now that I'm here, I can't believe that I made it alive. I nearly lost control too many times to mention. All I can say is thank god for my little Chevvy Malibu. That car is an unbelievable piece of machinery. Three times when I thought I was done for, some kind of self-righting mechanism kicked in and put the car back on track. And the secret ABS brakes saved my life at least half a dozen times.

Arctic Mountains 2
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

All that aside, I must admit that today I saw the most mindblowing, awesome scenery. Arctic landscapes that no photos can convey. There were moments when I couldn't belive what I was seeing. On a clear day, it wouldve been even more impressive, I'm sure. Lots of times, I couldnt even take photos because everything was white, and the camera couldnt pick up any detail. I mean everything. The sky, the road, the mountains, everything, all white. In fact, I had to wear sunglasses even though there was no sun, because all the white was blinding.

Arctic Sunset
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

So anyway, I made it. Its ridiculously cold (minus 22 when I last checked), and I am in the middle of nowhere, but I made it as far north as I could.

Now I'm going to bed

Bye.

Arctic White
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Well, that was yesterday. Today I woke up to the reality that it had started to snow. People were talking last night about some big storm that was coming, and that the roads might get closed, so I packed my shit up and got the fuck out as quick as I could

Arctic White 3
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Soon after I hit the road, the snow cleared up, and so did the sky, and I managed to get some nice snaps. The scenery was totally amazing. I mean, it was so absolutely different to anything I had seen before. The whiteness really made you start hallucinating full on.

Arctic White 2
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Anyway, about 350 kms from the end, the snowstorm hit. It was an absolute bastard. It was so fucking hard to drive anyway, but when the storm came in, you couldnt see shit, and the road just became impossible. A Swiss guy had gone off the side, and he was in a fully equipped 4 Wheel Drive. He had his wife shovelling snow for him (legend), and asked me to get help.

Arctic Moonscape
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I couldnt help laughing to myself at the irony of the situation. I mean, here is a Swiss guy, probably been driving on the snow his whole life, in a full on 4WD, with all the tools, and he is in the shit, asking me, a totally incompetent Aussie, first time on the snow/ice, in a rented secretary's car, with nothing but a camera and a computer, to get him out of the shit. Anyway, I told the next Eskimo I saw about him, and I think he went and sorted it out.

Road ?
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

The last 200 kms was really tough. The car was going off the road all the time, and it was a battle to keep it from sliding off to the side. This became especially scary when I was driving alongside a lake where the ice was partially melted. I started imagining what it would be like to freeze to death in a Chevvy Malibu.

So Damn Cold
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Well, in the end, I made it out alive. Now I am warm and safe, out of the arctic, and contemplating my next adventure. I didnt get to the north pole, but I did get pretty far north. I crossed the arctic circle, met plenty of Eskimos, couldnt find an Eskimo Pie, but all in all, I would say it was another success.

Whats next ? Any ideas ???

Eskimo Pies

Yukon Sky
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

So I've clocked up 3000 kms and I am still heading North. This country is so fucking huge. I'm now in Dawson City, about to make my final assault on the arctic circle. Been driving 3 days through the most incredible forests and glaciers. Majestic beauty.For the last 2000 kms, there has been only one real town. All the rest are just tiny little outposts, with a gas station and maybe a truckers motel, but this place is a fully preserved, living gold mining town. Its unbelievable really, all the buildings are in mint condition, a hundred years old, and my hotel has wireless internet access.

Yukon Glacier 2
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Tomorrow I'm going to drive to Inuvik (forecast max. -22 degrees), capital of Eskimoland. Oh, and for those of you who are going to tell me not to call them Eskimos, and that I should be calling them Inuit (like some politically correct sucks already have), well, I am going to have to tell you to fuck right off. I prefer to call them Eskimos.

Yukon Glacier
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

And if there are no Eskimo Pies available when I get there, I am writing a letter to the Peters Ice Cream Company telling them that their fraudulent behaiviour has made me drive 4000 kms out of my way and I want my money back. Or a lifetime supply of Eskimo Pies. (An Eskimo Pie is an Australian ice cream by the way. Would love one right now, actually)

1998 Fire Devastation
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

After driving for days through thick green forests, I got to this section of devastated forest. It went for a hundred kilometres and was totally mindblowing. Black toothpicks against the white snow as far as you could see...millions of acres of forest carnage, And what really blew me away was the sign that said it happened in 1998. Still no regrowth. After that, there were loads more of these scenes. It was only when you got to the forest fires from the 60's that there had been recovery. Unbelievable.

South to Alaska
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

When you see a sign like this, you know your a long way north...

Yukon Gas Station
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

If you are filling your petrol tank and a 12 year old girl zooms up on her snowmobile and starts filling up on the next bowser, you have to take a photo. And you know your a long way from home.

Tricky at 150
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This is hard to do when your going 150


So its off to the arctic in 3 hours. Wish me luck !!!

Things I saw Today

Frozen Lake
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Pretty,huh ??

BC Mountain 2
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

High Speed 2
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I took this one at high speed, as you can see. Don't tell my Dad...

Rear View Sunset
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I love taking photos while I am driving very fast

Heading North

I got to Vancouver last night and was totally lost. I just couldnt figure out what to do. So this morning, I got on the phone to the car rental company and rented a car. I couldnt decide whether to go to the mountains or what. I even considered going back to the u.s cos they have had a huge dump of fresh powder. Anyway, I just got in the car, pointed the thing north, and now I am heading for the North Pole, or as close as I can get to it in my midsize chevvy malibu.

I'll keep you posted.

bag hat

bag hat
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I saw this guy with a bag hat in chinatown, nyc

OK

OK. Comments are back on. I'm flying to Canada this afternoon. Seeya

Enough

Right, I've had enough. I'm shutting down these fucken comments for 24 hours. Its about time you idiots realised who the blog belongs to. Me, thats who (stole that from Al Pacinoo in Scarface, and it was also sampled by Public Enemy)

So, when the comments come back up, they better be entertaining and amusing instead of the pathetic boring dribble that has been posted there of late.

This hurts me more than it hurts you (stole that one off my mum).

If anyone really wants to contact me they can always email to mrchalk@hotmail.com

Driving around aimlessly

If theres one thing I love, it is getting in a car and just driving around aimlessly. For days. And sometimes for weeks.

Thats what I feel like doing right now, so I think thats what I'm gonna do. Rent a car, stick my snowboard in the back and just go. The time has come for freedom and randomness.

Oh, and I am loving this "No Comments" thing. If it starts to shit me again, I'll just turn it off forever.

California

So now I made it to California, and once again, I am jetlagged to the shithouse. A big question now presents itself....where to next ?

I can see that I basically have 3 choices:

1. Road trip through Southern California, Nevada, Arizona and finally New Mexico for some snow action.
2. Fly up to Canada, go cruiong through the Rockies and head for snowboard heaven.
3. Go down to Mexico and eat some Tacos and Burritos

What should I do ???

Tibetan Art Exhibition

So I was walking down the street and I saw some people demonstrating out the front of this art gallery. I love demonstrations because nobody really has any idea why they are demonstrating. Most of the guys are just there to try and get a fuck, and most of the girls are just satisfying their urge to tell people that they are doing the wrong thing.

Anyway, I went there, and there was a full on Tibetan Art exhibition on. I walked in and saw some wicked golden statues and started taking some photos. Some Indian dude came up to me and told me that photos were forbidden.



Talk about a red rag to a bull. I paid my 7 bucks and went on a mad snapping spree






After the show I thought I would make the demonstrators jealous and told them how great the show was. Turns out they had all paid their 7 bucks and seen the show already themselves. Fucken hypocrites.

hot dog stand

hot dog stand
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This one is for Mall Boy

Metrosexuals

Metrosexuals give me the shits. They are a boring, gutless bunch of wankers, who just dont know who the fuck they are. I mean, what the fuck are they ? I'll tell you what they are. They are the essence of bullshit. If they like acting like fags and dressing like fags, how about they start fucking like fags.

Its all about keeping it real, and metrosexuals are not keeping it real.

Bye Bye New York

Well, I had a wonderful time in New York City, and now I'm heading west.

When I was wandering through Washington Square, I saw these incredible guys taking a jump. Check it out at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/171677/show/

I took loads of snaps of graffiti, and if you want to check them out, go to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/169885/

I also got some pictures of the incredible New York architecture. If you want to have a look at those, go to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/170816/

For some shots of beautiful New York scenes, got to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/169891/

To view my short visit through Little Italy, check out:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/169883/


And for a little taste of the New York Subway System, click on:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/171643/


I had such fun, braved a 3 day snowstorm, and managed to get out alive.

Westward Ho !!!

At Dean and Deluca

At Dean and Deluca
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This girl was sitting next to me at Dean and Deluca's and I took her photo without her realizing. She looks a little confused. I dont know why, cos i was looking the other way, so she wouldnt realize i was photographing her.

I eavesdropped on her phone call. She was showing off to her friend about how she turned down a rock star.

Why I love Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I love Spongebob Squarepants because:

1. He is nearly always happy
2. He is particularly enthusiastic
3. He loves his job
4. He takes pride in his work
5. He is a loyal friend
6. He loves to play
7. He is not afraid to admit he is a wimp
8. He creates suspense
9. He is a hopeless driver but keeps trying to get his licence
10. He is eternally optimistic
11. He trusts everyone
12. He lives in a pineapple
13. He is totally unselfish
14. He is kind

I love Spongebob. I wish everyone was a bit more like him.

Decision

decision
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I thought this one was a little disturbing

i love you

i love you
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

How sweet....

Friends

Friends
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

These girls are friends. I thought they were cool.

Photo Shoot

Photo Shoot
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Saw this guy taking photos of this girl, so I took a photo of them.

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK !!!

Well, thats what I once saw on a t-shirt in New York, and guesss what ??? I AM IN NEW YORK CITY RIGHT FUCKING NOW !!!! I'm not sure if you knew this, but I love New York soooooo much. It is my favourite city in the whole world and I am here.

WOOHOOO !!!!

Off to dinner now. I am sure I am going to have lots of fun in the big apple, so brace yourself for some serious hardcore motherfuckin shit.

PRIZES PRIZES PRIZES !!!!!!!

Well, the FREE PRIZES which have been promised to PLATINUM CLUB members are finally being announced. As promised, 2 prizes will be awarded, and as a surprise bonus, one male and one female winner will be announced.

For one LUCKY female club member, the following 2 prizes will be awarded:

1. International blogstar MR.CHALK will fuck you
2. A video recording of the event will be produced and forwarded to you


For one LUCKY male club member, the following 2 prizes will be awarded:

1. Stunning teen sensation JULIET will fuck you
2. A video recording of the event will be produced and forwarded to you

Once again, please note that the judges decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.

PLATINUM CLUB prizes

i was just thinking that maybe the two prizes that I could award to PLATINUM CLUB members would be:

1. I fuck them
2. I send them a video of me fucking them

But then I thought, "what if the winner is a guy ?"

Oh well, better scrap that idea.....

A Highly Unoriginal Mind

I recently realised that my whole life is a cliche stolen from movies I've seen, songs I've heard and other peoples lives. I am a highly unoriginal mind (stole that). Kind of like a sampled hip hop track.

I like it like that (stole that too)

And I always repeat every joke that I make about a million times. In fact, I just emailed most of this posting to a friend before, and am just regurgitating it because I thought it sounded good.

And even this theory is not new. I was raving on to someone about it a few months ago.

Anyway, have any of you seen the Fingerbang episode of South Park ? I love that episode....

I Love America

Yeah, I was just in a shit mood when I wrote that last posting. I actually love America, and I think Americans are great.

Sorry about that...that was just my shitty personality shining through.

Now I'm happy again...and looking forward to my next burger and fries.

Fucken American Cunts

I am walking around in the streets here, and all I can see are big fat fucken american cunts. They eat so fucken much, it makes me sick.

I go into a restaurant and the menu has got 4.6 million things on it. I ask for a mineral water, the bitch looks at me like i'm from fucken outer space. I say, "water with bubbles", she says "oh, you mean a selzer". I dont mean a fucken selzer, but i'll have that anyway.

American Cunts
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Then she asks me "would you like lime or rasberry flavour ?" If I wanted fucken flavoured, I would have asked for it, bitch. No flavour please. "Sorry sir, we only have lime or rasberry."

Cunts.

My mate orders an espresso. "Sorry sir, we don't serve fancy coffee here. Only reg-la coffee here." What the fuck ? 4.6 million items on the menu, and no espresso ? Fuck off.
I feel sick, coz everybody is stuffing their face with onion rings and greasy burgers. I order a greek salad. When it comes, its got a whole packet of feta cheese poured over the top of it. What the fuck is going on in this country ???

Australians and Americans have got a special relationship going on. They love us, we fucken hate them.

Scared Straight

When I was at school, swearing in class was forbidden. No one said fuck or cunt. No one was even allowed to say shit.

Everything changed, though, when they made us watch the show "Scared Straight". This was a show about some young criminals that were forced to go to a prison and listen to hardcore motherfuckers talk about how fucked it was in jail. They would go berko at these kids and scare the shit out of them.

They also swore. Alot.

One guy in particular stood out. He had one eye, and would get right in the face of one of these poor cunts, and scream, "YOU SEE MY EYE, MUTHERFUKKA". His other favourite call was, "HOW YOU GONNA LIKE IT WIT FOUR DICKS UP YOUR ASS"

"Scared Straight" didn't really scare any of us. I mean, we were such a bunch of pussy ass soft cocks, our gangsta attitude never went much further than stealing a Mars Bar. What it did do was give us plenty of material to abuse the fuck out of each other with.

In fact, I blame that show for the disgusting language I seem to rely on to express myself with.

Well, how would you like it with 4 dicks up your ass ?

my eye

eye
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

you see my eye, mutherfukka?

48 Hours of Solid Alcohol Abuse

So I got up at 5AM on Friday morning, packed my shit up and headed for Hanover. CeBIT, the world's biggest technology show is held there every year, and I was on my way to check out the latest in the world of technology.

cebit hall 9
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

By 12 o'clock I was at the show, and boy was this thing fucken huge. 29 massive exhibition halls, all packed full. It was a little daunting, so me and my mates Simon and Emma, went to a restaurant called The Tower for lunch. We ended up extending lunch into an all afternoon drinking session, and by the time it got dark, we had seen none of the show, but had managed to down plenty of alcohol.

Dinner was calling, and we had heard that the place to go was The Munchen Halle, a Bavarian style beerhall where everyone was downing giant mugs of beer, and stuffing their face full of pork knuckle.

A traditional bavarian band was playing the classic German beer hall tunes, as well as favourites such as the Benny Hill anthem. The crowd was going wild, standing on their chairs, singing in unison and cheering. You could smell the German Pride, and an element of "Nuremberg Rally" type mass hysteria was kicking in. I just sat down, and started knocking back the 1 liter glasses of beer.

cork hats
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

These Australians in cork hats were a couple of fine ambassadors to my country

flag boy
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This guy was having a ball. He had an Australian flag, and wasnt scared to wave it.

cigar lady
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This frauline sold cigars

devil
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This devil sold stupid hats to the drunks

before
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This was my pig knuckle before I ate it

after
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

This was my pig knuckle after I ate it.


As the day ended, I reflected on how little of the show I had managed to see. I did, however, manage to drink a hell of a lot of alcohol and stuff my face full of pork flesh.

So anyway, we went back to our hotel, had showers, and then met up again at the hotel bar. At this point, another friend, Gilles from Switzerland arrived at the hotel. We were given the word by the people we had met that a small bar in Hanover called Oscars was the place to be, so we headed down there.

Well, as soon as we got there, we bumped into some Americans who had just come from Amsterdam. These guys were so excited by the free and easy Dutch attitude to marijuana, and before I could say anything, I had swallowed a chocolate hash cake. The rest of the night was spent pouring beer after beer down my throat, punctuated by regular joint smoking out in the street. It was well below zero, but i couldnt feel a thing.

This alcohol abuse continued until 4AM, after which I managed to get back to the hotel and grab some sleep. But only some. After 3 and a half hours, I could sleep no more, and crawled out of bed. I thought I had better get to the show and have a look around a bit, or else I was going to leave without seeing anything.

building
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I wasnt sure if this building was tilted or if my brain was


I was right to be concerned. By 11:30AM, my mates were back at the show, and had managed to get me back to the restaurant. Within a few minutes, I had a drink back in my hand and the roller coaster ride continued. More drinking, more beer, more spirits, more licquers, i hadnt even started to recover, and things were already getting messy.

Again, this drinking madness continued until dark, at which point we ended up in some swish bar in the centre of town. The barman, who also owned the joint, for some reason took a liking to our small group of alcohol abusers, and stated giving us gallons of free alcohol.

It was getting harder and harder to focus, and I was starting to worry about catching our plane out of there. My flight was booked for 7AM, and as cocktails had now become the norm, things were getting out of hand. Our little group had become a bunch of 15 pissheads, and I have some vague memories of some guy deciding to firebreath mouthfulls of vodka inside the bar. Repeatedly.

Anyway, I managed to wobble out of there with a small sliver of brain intact, and we made our way somehow to the Kebab end of town. This was great, and I was thoroughly enjoying my Lamb Special, however, I forgot to take into account the fact that Simon had been guzzling boatloads of tequila and had lapsed into a fit of unreasonable aggression. The Turkish kebab boys had put meat in his vegetarian pizza, so Simon saw fit to slam the door of the shop so hard it nearly came off its hinges.

Now, at 5:30AM, when your plane leaves at 7, you do not want to be starting fights with mental Turkish dudes. Tequila crazed Australians at the end of a 48 hour drinking binge think otherwise. All of a sudden there are 6 Turks chasing him down the street. Somehow, and I have no idea how, we managed to get ourselves and our paralytic mate out of there, and back to the hotel safely. The Turks chased us the fuck outta there...

We got to the airport 30 minutes before the plane left. I have no idea how I got on that plane. I just know I did. The previous 48 hours were a shocking blur, and seeing that 43 hours had just been spent actively abusing alcohol, I am amazed that I managed to escape. I smacked down the remaining pieces of space cake, and collapsed into my Lufthansa seat relieved and exhausted.

Now I am in the U.S.A, and my liver needs a rest

drunk

sorry, cant write now, too drunk. the turks are on our tail.gotta run.

will be in america soon. will write then.

see ya

Bye Bye Denmark

Well, thats it for Denmark. It has been lovely spending some time amongst the sea faring Danes, however, tomorrow morning, I am saying goodbye.

And I am also saying hello, to that jolly nation, GERMANY !!!

Still smarting from the whipping they took in '45, the Germans have reformed their wicked ways, and are now hosting the world's biggest technology fair, CeBIT. I'll be reporting back to you all, not to mention going kookoo with my FujiFilm F700.

I am also looking forward to brewskis and bratwursts at the Munchen Keller....not to mention those frauleins in lederhosen.

And like those cute little kids from The Sound of Music, I'll be making a quick getaway on Sunday morning.

Auf Widersein, until then.

Copenhagen Lights

Hi Everyone,

I took some photos of some lights in Copenhagen.

If you would like to view them, click on:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/156048/show/

PLATINUM CLUB !!!

Well, for those true Mr.Chalk fans, you can now join the Mr.Chalk PLATINUM CLUB !!!

What is the "Mr.Chalk PLATINUM CLUB ?", I hear you ask ? Well, apart from the dynamically entertaining EMAIL UPDATES, one lucky member will win....

TWO FREE PRIZES !!!

The winner will be selected by a panel of judges (me), and after the prizewinners have been announced, no correspondence will be entered into. (I dont really know what that means, but they always seem to say that whenever a prize is awarded)

So JOIN UP NOW !! Its absolutely FREE !!! Just enter your name in the panel on the right side of the page, and PLATINUM CLUB rewards will be all yours.

Exposed as a Fraud

Well, it seems that Mr.Chalk has been exposed as a fraud. The so-called "LOO CAM", was nothing more than a rip off, stolen from the pages of this months' Vice Magazine. I am coming clean, in front of everybody, admitting that I made the whole thing up.

I did not run into the ladies lav.
I did not take photos of people fucking
I did not do a runner afterwards
I am a wimp
In fact, I am a fucken wimp

Sorry. Now you can all crucify my.


The big question is, what else did I make up ? I mean, I could be warm and cosy back at home, never having moved an inch.

It could be true, couldnt it........

Anyway, I'm leaving Copenhagen today, off to Aalborg on another imaginary adventure. I'll let you know how it goes.

And by the way, true or not, you've gotta admit this website is more compelling than fucken Yahoo. Well, you're still reading, aren't you.....

Graffiti

For those that are interested, there are some interesting photos I have taken of graffiti from all of my destinations.

For those that would like to view some graffiti from:

Copenhagen, click on: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/154512/

Amsterdam, click on: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/151567/

Manchester, click on: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/143692/

Barcelona, click on: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/sets/137706/

Or if you would like to see all the latest snaps from the adventures of Mr. Chalk, go to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrchalk/


Enjoy !!!

LOO CAM

LOO CAM
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Well, you can call Mr.Chalk the postman, because he always delivers. You wanted LOO CAM, you get LOO CAM. Not only that, you get FUCKING ON THE LOO CAM !!! I ran into the ladies lav, as instructed by my kind reader Mall Boy, and what did I find in there, yes, a couple rooting on the crapper. I took a few snaps, then did a runner.

Now dont you cunts ever call me a fucken wimp again.....

Fuck em if they can't take a joke

Well, I am so deeply touched by the masses of well wishers, resurfaced old friends and kind words from strangers this website has generated. I must say, however, that not all feedback has been positive. I received a call from a drunkard mate of mine who called me after getting tanked with his missus. He advised me that while he found "The Adventures of Mr.Chalk" to be compelling reading, his wife, on the other hand was disgusted, for some reason, by the OPINION POLL.

Well, I said to my pal, "Fuck em if they cant take a joke", and let it rest there. But as soon as I put down the phone, I realised that I was wrong. Very wrong.

You see, "The Adventures of Mr.Chalk" is in no way humourous. In fact, every single word contained in these pages is earnestly serious. It is not my fault if some people are upset by my innocent curiosity, however, I really wanted to know if it was OK. I mean, if I just went off half cocked, emailing a girl "I want your cunt NOW", without at least asking my esteemed readers if it was OK first, well, I could end up offending her.

So if anyone is upset by this website, please bear with me, as my search for the truth must continue

Liver Paste

liver paste
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

So I went to breakfast this morning thinking of fresh pineapple, grapefruit juice and delicious scrambled eggs.

But I forgot, this is Denmark, and here, people eat LIVER PASTE for breakfast.

Mmmmmmmm......

Sprog

Sprog
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

God knows what they sell here, but it cant be good....

adidas shoes side view

adidas shoes side view
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

So what do you think of my new shoes ??

Oh, and did I tell you they are waterproof ? I have been testing them out in the snow, and my feet have stayed dry as a bone.

Well, do you like them or not.....or maybe that should be the next poll....

Poll Progress Scores

Well, the poll is well underway, and in response to the crucial question,

"If I send an email to a girl I like that says: "I want your cunt NOW", is that kinda sexy, neither here nor there or downright rude"

We have, in the lead.......KINDA SEXY.....with 38.89% of the vote

Which just goes to show what a bunch of sick fucks my readers are. Or at least 38.89% of you. And you know who you are....

Copenhagen

Well, Ive left Amsterdam for Copenhagen. Nothing is happening. No adventures. Nothing of interest. In fact, I am so fucken tired, I think I am going to try and get a record 6 hours sleep.

Good Night !!!

Oh, by the way, any good ideas for the next poll ??

FEBO, FEBO, FEBO

There's one thing I hate about restaurants. That is having to wait for your food. When I'm hungry, I want my food NOW !!! And waiting just is not going to cut it. In Amsterdam, I got fucken hungry after smoking some hardcore, AK-47, hydroponically grown, chemical laced marijuana. I wanted food. So I went to McDonalds.

They made me wait, so I walked out. Not happy.

Febo Febo Febo
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Then I saw FEBO. Like a beacon on the horizon, the red and yellow lights ushered me through its doors, towards delicious culinary delights, and all I had to do was put a coin in the slot.

Febo Doors
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Yes, FEBO is the fastest of fast food. Its all sitting there in little locked windows, like you can see here.

Febo Burgers
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

All you have to do is decide....will it be the burgers ?

Febo Croquettes
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Or perhaps a croquette ?

Febo Cheese Souffle
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

I like the Cheese Souffle !!

Its the Cheese Souffle
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Yes, its the Cheese Souffle, and it only cost 1 euro !!!

Everybody Loves Febo
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Everybody loves FEBO !!!