Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Fucken American Cunts

I am walking around in the streets here, and all I can see are big fat fucken american cunts. They eat so fucken much, it makes me sick.

I go into a restaurant and the menu has got 4.6 million things on it. I ask for a mineral water, the bitch looks at me like i'm from fucken outer space. I say, "water with bubbles", she says "oh, you mean a selzer". I dont mean a fucken selzer, but i'll have that anyway.

American Cunts
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.
Then she asks me "would you like lime or rasberry flavour ?" If I wanted fucken flavoured, I would have asked for it, bitch. No flavour please. "Sorry sir, we only have lime or rasberry."


My mate orders an espresso. "Sorry sir, we don't serve fancy coffee here. Only reg-la coffee here." What the fuck ? 4.6 million items on the menu, and no espresso ? Fuck off.
I feel sick, coz everybody is stuffing their face with onion rings and greasy burgers. I order a greek salad. When it comes, its got a whole packet of feta cheese poured over the top of it. What the fuck is going on in this country ???

Australians and Americans have got a special relationship going on. They love us, we fucken hate them.


At 8:56 PM, March 15, 2005, Anonymous rat police said...

Look on the bright side mate. At least she called you 'Sir'.

At 10:11 PM, March 15, 2005, Anonymous Jenny Craig Diet Options said...

Sir, my advice to you is to stick to the tried and tested: beer and pig fat

At 11:08 PM, March 15, 2005, Blogger Mr. Chalk said...

the beer here is shithouse

At 7:04 AM, March 16, 2005, Anonymous Supersize said...

Sir, we don't bother with the taste - all that's important Sir, is that you can supersize up - Sir!

Is everything fine with your meal now Sir?

At 7:13 AM, March 16, 2005, Blogger xoxo, me said...

Your're having a bad day, huh? You just haven't met the right American cunt. We're not all porkers.

At 7:25 AM, March 16, 2005, Blogger Mr. Chalk said...

yeah, i know. i was just tired from my flight out

At 4:16 PM, March 16, 2005, Blogger Mr. Chalk said...

oh, and by the way, xoxo, i have just been accused of fucking you.

have i ever fucked you ?

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