Las Vegas, Nevada

Gutter Vegas
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

If ya wanna check out my DIRTY VEGAS series of photographs, click here.

Vegas Neon Heart Attack

Splash
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Went to Vegas for a short visit. Won enough to pay for my hotel and food.

Now I'm outta here, pants intact.

Chinese Tattoos

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Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

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Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

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Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

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Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

Going down to Memphis

Pimp Leroy and friends
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I got my arse down to Memphis, Tennessee, and yeah, that place is cool.

Hooked up with my boy, Pimp Leroy, who made sure I had a wicked time. Anyway, after a million beers and a steak, I passed out in the gutter, and woke up with old cigarette butts glued to my forehead.

Priscilla Presley at Graceland
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Anyway, after dragging myself back to my hotel, I decided to postpone my trip to Graceland, the Elvis Presley mansion till Monday, so as to avoid the crowds.

Well, when I got there, there was TV cameras and reporters and hundreds of people everywhere. I asked what was going on, and they told me that Graceland was being added to some Historic Register.

So I made like I was one of the paparazzi, pushed over a few children and old ladies, and got to the front of the pack.

Next thing, out walks PRISCILLA FUCKEN PRESLEY !!!

I couldnt believe it. I went snap happy, and got this fine shot of the woman. Can you believe she is 60 years old ?? Amazing what doctors can do these days, if ya pay em enough.

Nashville, Tennessee

Tootsies
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to Nashville, the International Capital of Country Music.

At first it was kinda funny, ya know...redneck shit everywhere...and proud of it. No black fellas, pork ribs and good ole boys. Ha Ha Ha

Well, its not so funny after a few hours.

All I can say now is that if I smell another pork rib or hear one more note of country music, I am gonna puke everywhere...

THE KING OF NEW YORK

CHALK VS. JAY BULGER
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to New York with a mate of mine, and he tells me we are gonna hang out with his buddy, Jay.

So we catch up with him and his friends for dinner. Top people, super friendly and all that. After being used to cunts everywhere I go, its a fucken relief to be hanging with some decent people.

Anyway, it turns out that Jay is far from normal. In fact, he is THE KING OF NEW FUCKEN YORK !!!

For the rest of the weekend, he is showing us round the city, free everything, treated like royalty, bottles of vodka in nightclubs, chicks everywhere, VIP non stop shit like you wouldnt believe.

I ask him what he does...turns out he is a boxer, film director, writer and top model. This bloke is on the cover of fucken Vogue, directing film clips for Arctic Monkeys and The Strokes...I mean, fuck, like I said, the king. He's just written a book and has been published in six magazines.

And you would expect a guy like that to have his head planted right up his arse.....Not this guy. Jay is a joker who takes the whole thing lightly and makes everyone feel comfortable.

So, as you would imagine, I had a good time in NYC.

United Airlines - Shit

UnitedAirlines
Originally uploaded by The Envoy.

United Airlines is easily the world's crappiest airline.

There is no wonder these losers have gone bankrupt. Their aircraft are old and out of date, as are their ugly stewardesses. Actually, ugly is a compliment. These hairy uptight hags are as rude as any I have come across, and the service they provide is worse than what you would expect from a bus conductor.

Listen, everyone know that the U.S airlines are shit, especially compared to Asian or even European carriers, but hey, United are just a total and absolute joke.

DO NOT FLY with them if you have any say in the matter. They are so, so bad.

DANISH HIPPIES ARE CUNTS

DANISH COPS
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to Christiania, the Danish hippy haven, to get some pot. Bought some off this guy and went to find somewhere to smoke it.

Anyway, I find this house that looks the part, and theres about 20 danish hippys walking around in the dark, smoking joints and shit. Looks ok, so I start rolling a joint, then this chick comes up to me and say "be careful, cops are around"

Cops are around ?? Im just rolling a fucken joint, not importing a sack of heroin for christs sake.

Anyway, i just finished making it, light it up, the next thing....8 cops bust in the room with torches flashing and cameras snapping !!!

I nearly swallowed the fucking joint I got such a shock. Stood on it, dumped the tiny bag of weed and milled around with the rest of the hippies, trying to act like nothing was going on.

Well, they coppers fucked around in there for 15 minutes then left. I thought Id just get my bag of pot and leave, but when I went to get it, some cunt goes..."thats my marijuana !!!" next thing, ive got a bunch of weirdos circling me, demanding I give the pot back to the fucker. Seeing I am a gutless wimp, I gave it to him and left. Then I had to go and buy some more.

So all ive got to say about Danish hippies is....what a bunch of CUNTS

CeBIT...The World's Biggest Nerdfest

At CeBIT
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I made my way to Germany to attend the World's Biggest Nerdfest, CeBIT in Hanover.

This show is absolutely fucking massive....30 exhibition halls, all packed to the gills with computer and communication crap.

And there is one thing that all that computer shit attracts like bees to honey, and that is..........

CeBIT Supernerd
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

NERDS !!!

Thousands and thousands of them.

Nerds as far as they eye can see. There is so much nerdy crap on show here, it just pulls em in from all over the globe.

And if there is one thing that nerds love almost as much as computers, it would have to be.......

CeBIT Blonde Slut
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

SLUTS !!!

There were plenty of sluts cruising around the exhibition, all looking to lure nerds into their stands.

So while I was bored out of my mind, I took plenty of photos of nerds and sluts and have assembled them in a selection.

If you wasnt to view the NERDS OF CEBIT, click here.

If you want to view the SLUTS OF CEBIT, click here.

Now, its each to their own, but I must say that I prefer the sluts.

ISTANBUL....YEAH !!!

Barefoot in the Mosque
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I fucked off from Dubai, with aching wrists and ankles, and next stop...ISTANBUL.

This place rocks !!! The people are cool, the food is delicious, and even though they have a scarf on their heads, you can see the womens faces.

One thing that kinda concerns me though is the lack of adventure.

I mean, all this travelling is good and well, but this blog i supposed to be about adventures, and so far, Im just doing normal shit.

I'm low on inspiration, folks. I just dont know what to do to get myself motivated.

So help me.

Tell me what the fuck I should do to spice things up a little.....and please, make it someting new.

That same old Loo Cam thing just aint gonna cut it

Istanbul Street Action
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Istanbul Tram
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Old Dubai

3 Arabs
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Its not really old at all, but in black and white.......

Old Arab
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Old Arabs
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Sore Wrists

At the Snow
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, the Falconer went on holidays, so I did the next most obvious thing to do in the middle of the desert....

GO SNOWBOARDING !!!


The sheiks have built a giant indoor mountain in Dubai, and I was in my rented blue and red ski suit, dodging women in burka style quilted jackets. One modern woman had a rasta hat over the top of her veil.

Anyway, I made it out of the giant freezer alive, but the surface was so fucking hard, my ankles and wrists are killing me.....

I think its about time I got outta here

The Arab World

So now I'm in Dubai.

So I'm waiting for someone to recruit me into Al Qaeda

Then I'd have a real adventure to write about

Unfortunately the only adventure Ive had so far is when I slipped on the bathroom floor of my hotel room.

Anyway, today I think I'm going to go FALCONING, so I'll tell you all how it goes

Photo Competition

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

OK, so I submitted this photo to the Gridskipper Photo Contest.

Gridskipper is this urban travel blog, and its fucken cool. In fact, I was tempted to keep it secret, but I want you to all vote for me, so I am spilling the beans.

Anyway, if you want to vote for me, and check out the website anyway, click here

By the way, i'm going to Dubai tomorrow

I'm Going

Cinema
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Its about time I did something, so I'm going to get on a plane and fly around the world.

Not all at one go....I am going to stop off a few times, but anyway, I'm fucking off on Friday.

WOOHOOOO !!!!!