WHERE'S THE FISH ??

On the Prowl
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So, I went to the Fish Fry, and when I got there, there was no Fish !! There was plenty of beer, though, so I slammed down about a dozen Kalik's and could hardly speak.

Then these two Bahamian Mama's rolled up and started giving me the eye and all that. They wanted to get naked, but all I could say was...

"WHERE'S THE FISH ???"

Hanging with the Pissheads

Pissheads
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I am off to the event of the week here in Governors Harbour.

THE FISH FRY !!!

All the local pissheads are gonna be there, and I am going to be knocking back crappy Bahamas beer like there is no tomorrow.

And when I am spastic, I am gonna shovel mountains of barbecued Grouper and Snapper into my mouth.

And when thats all over, I am gonna invite a twenty stone chunky Bahamian mama back to my joint for some sweet loving, Bahamas style.


I love this place.

Thank God

Smack
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Thank god they sell smack here. Otherwise I would be bored shitless.

Beach Bar

Beach Bar
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

I'm thirsty

Fucking Wilma

Waves on the Road
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Nothing much to report really.

The front doors blew off their hinges, the power lines went down, the sea wall broke, the streets flooded, but 24 hours later, everything is up and running, and I am back on line.

Now, does anybody have any good sex stories to share with the group ??

Hurricane Warning

WILMA !!
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Now I'm in the Bahamas, and there is a hurricane warning going on.

They reckon its gonna hit the northern Bahamas on sunday.

Bring it on you fucken cunt of a storm. I am going to take this baby on. Flying to the northern Bahamas tomorrow, and I am going to play dice with the devil.

Lets see if this hurricane bullshit is all they make it out to be.

Welcome to Little Haiti

Welcome
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So when I was in San Francisco, this mate of mine told me to check out Little Haiti when I got to Miami.

So I jumped in a cab and said, "Take me to Little Haiti". The driver looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. "Little Haiti ?? Are you sure ? I have never taken a white guy there in 16 years driving cabs !!"

So, as usual, I was going on Chalks tour of The Ghetto.

Well, I must say, the locals were amongst the friendliest people I have met. Especially Mr.Voodoo. He ran a religious items store, which was really a Voodoo store.

There were statues of the Maddona, Buddha, St.George and a whole range of christian saints. But what was really cool was the statues of dinosaurs, chickens and wolfmen.

Voodoo. The real thing. Unfortunately I didnt see any animal sacrifices, but like my mum says, you gotta leave something for next time...

Chalk and Mr.Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

In the Voodoo Shop
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Wolfman
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

200 years of Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

More Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

South Beach Slut

Classy
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I don;t know if she really was a slut, cos I took the photo then ran away.

It does sound good though

Plastic Surgery Disasters and Neon Nightmares

Miami Neon Nightmare II
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Im in Miami, and all I can think about is Tony Montana and The Diaz Brothers.

There were so many sexy chicks around last night, it was doing my head in. Plenty of plastic surgery disasters too !!

I could hear the words of Scarface ringing in my ears..."First, jou get da money, Den, jou get da power, Den jou get da pussy"

I better get to work.

Oily Exploitation

oily auld rickshaws
Originally uploaded by thePicaroony.

I tell ya, if there is one thing that really gets my goat, its the unfair treatment of the disabled.

This bloke who calls himself The Picaroony, is promoting the Oily Exploitation of Disabled Masseurs. By his own admission, he is lining up hapless cripples to do his greasy bidding. Someone has got to stop this guy quick.

San Fran Fucken Outta Here

Door
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well it has been fun. San Francisco is one top city, and I have had a lovely time. Even though I fucked myself up good and proper, I still had a ball.

These are my basic observations about San Francisco:

1. Lots of dogshit on the street
2. More homeless cunts than Bombay
3. Good Sushi

Daily News
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

4. Hard to find a good breakfast
5. Loads of hippie scum
6. Rich cunts everywhere
7. Friendly Lesbians
8. Rampant respect for nerds,
9. Weird Therapeutic Massage Clinics


Now I gotta get my arse to Miami to pay homage to Elian Gonzalez. If there is one thing I hate, its those goddamn pinko communist Castro loving muthafukkas.

Well, actually, I dont give a fuck about politics, but I do like to blend in, so when I get to Little Havana, I am gonna hate those pinko scum, believe you me.

Therapeutic Massage

Therapeutic Massage
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I asked my mate the doctor what I should do about my pulled hamstring. He said a good massage could help. What a surprise it was to find this place just around the corner from my hotel !!

I trust they are well trained massage therapists.

Insane or what ?

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Have I gone completely insane ?

Well, let me tell you my latest adventure, and you can make up your mind for yourselves.

So, I decided to go for a little stroll, taking photos of crackheads and other assorted fun. Anyway, it was a lovely day, and my photo snapping was proceeding quite nicely, and I end up walking about 15 kilometers, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge on foot.

I get to the other side, and I am relaxing at the lookout point, when this dodgy cunt comes up to me and asks me for 2 bucks. This fucker is all clean and nice, and Im thinking to myself, "fuck off mate, you are a crook". So I tell him that he is being unreasonable, and the most I will offer him is a few coins.

To my surprise, he starts abusing the shit out of me and starts getting right up in my face. Now this pisses me off, and like the dickhead that I am, I take him on and start pushing him away. Anyway, the next thing I know, the cunt has grabbed my sunglasses off my face and runs away with them !!

Now, I haven't run anywhere in about 5 months or more, but my instinctive reaction was to chase the fuck. Anyway, about 3 paces into my pursuit, I pulled my fucking hamstring, and the cunt disappears into the distance. Now I was stranded, and had to walk for about 2 kms to find a cab with a fucked up hammy.

Anyway, now I am fucked. Can hardly walk, and am in pain.

What a cunt.

San Fran Crackheads

Ready For Combat
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

My latest mission involves going up to crack heads and taking their picture.

Smiling
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Gold Teeth
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

This kid isnt a crackhead yet, but his teeth were so shiny, I had to take his picture.

Jetlagged To The Fucken Shit

San Francisco Burning
Originally uploaded by aqui-ali.

Well, I made it to San Fran Fucken Cisco, and I am so jetlagged its ridiculous. It feels like someone poured a bucket of sand in my eyes.

Anyway, Im going to check out this Rob Brezny dude tomight at some hippy bookshop. My friend, crazy japanese slut, advised me to check it out, and I always follow good advice.

Speaking of which, I am still waiting for advice as to what to do with the rest of my time. As previously stated, I am a bored cunt with too much time on his hands, and as such, need someone to provide me with direction.

Anyway, Im going to have some breakfast.

Seeya.

Goodbye Honkers

Descent
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, it was fun wandering around hongkong for a couple of days. now it time for the next leg of this adventure....

SAN FRAN FUCKEN CISCO !!!

So I am starting to loosen up a bit, and I am feeling like some kind of unacceptable behaviour is around the corner. I am buying my new camera here, and am open to suggestions as to what I should take pictures of.

Any ideas ?

SHA TIN RACES

GO NUMBER 3 !!
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to the races, and couldnt win a single bet. Oh well, it was a cultural experience. The chinese dont show much emotion, thats for sure....


Oh, and if you want to see some more of my HongKong pictures, click here

Please Be Seated For Landing

Please Be Seated For Landing
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

OK. I finally managed to put my shit together, and have made it out of Byron.

What was supposed to be a 4 weeks hiatus turned into 5 months of stoned indulgence. Anyway, I have gotten off my arse, jumped on a plane, and am now back on the road.

Now in Hong Kong, I am about to head down for some breakfast. After that, some street wandering, followed by a journey to the famous SHA TIN races. I will be betting like a madman, and will take many photos as well.

Ah, great to be back out there....

TIME TO GO

my new fridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I have been sitting around like a pathetic piece of shit for TOO FUCKING LONG.

So the time has come, to get off my lazy arse and go and see some of the world again.

As you have seen, I have descended into a world devoid of creativity. So anyway, enough of that. Its time to crawl out, and smell the sweet fumes of diesel exhaust.

I'm going away. On Saturday.

I will be keeping you all up to date, once again, and will be getting a new camera. This is gonna be fun.