The Adventures of Mr. Chalk

What ??

2007-12-09T12:38:00.001+09:00

Flowers
Originally uploaded by Chalky Lives

So im back in Tokyo again, with my senses bombarderd by Okonomiyaki and Japanese sluts in micro shorts . So what is it all about ? I mean, what should I do...I am an indulgent cunt, that is true. And my options are pretty fucken broad, but hey, what the fuck ??

I'm living in tokyo midtown and my apartment gets cleaned 3 times a week. When the cleaners come (4 of them), the bow down to me and then proceed to put all my girlfriends hair clips in a neat row. so anal its got hemmoroids.

So, yeah. Im looking for advice here, and remember, your doing a service to someone or other, because if I run out of ideas ill probably have to top myself as an homage to decadent western ideals and boredom and tv and the internet.

So yeah....the canvas is blank....what should i do and where should i do it ??? I want answers now.

Back In Japan

2007-08-02T15:15:00.001+09:00

The Hippy Stage - Fuji Rock Festival 2007
Originally uploaded by Chalky Lives

So, yeah. Im in Japan, been here for a few months, and I went to the Fuji Rock Festival, like the hero that I am, and instead of rock and roll, what do I find ???

FUCKEN HIPPYS !!

Fuck.

TOKYO.....RUSHING

2006-12-13T06:33:00.000+09:00

OK, so here it is......my first film.

Check it out !!!

A Canal Full of Poo

2006-12-10T13:31:00.000+09:00

This one really is superb....

FUCK PHOTOS

2006-12-08T08:36:00.000+09:00

director
Originally uploaded by Magnum P.I.

Well, I am sick of taking fucking photos and all the shit that goes along with it. It is so fucking arty, it makes me sick.

Ive decided to say, FUCK PHOTOS. I am now going to dedicate myself to making movies. Much more exciting, compelling and impressive.

So to all you photographers out there.....get fucked.

Hollywood...here I come

Hardcore Asian Shit

2006-11-23T22:28:00.000+09:00

OK, so Ive been hanging here in Tokyo for almost 2 months, and fuck, I fucking love it here. Everything is so fucking cool. Basically, I have got the best life. I wake up, surf the net a bit, watch some TV and then go hang out at the Pachinko joint for some mindless punting.

Anyway, during the countless hours I have spent surfing the net, I came across this video of some harcdore asian shit.

Watch closely, grasshopper...

Totally Committed to Fine Art

2006-11-08T08:19:00.000+09:00

The Art of Letting Go
Originally uploaded by Chalky Lives.

You may have noticed I haven't been writing or taking any photos lately. This is true, and the reason for this is that I have found nothing to photograph or write about. Life is good. No complaints.

This image, which I captured last night at the Shimbashi Station public lavatory has shaken me out of my complacency.

What I am struggling to conceive is HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN ?

The Crush Calculator

2006-09-27T04:42:00.000+09:00

Heart in the snow
Originally uploaded by cattycamehome.

This remarkable piece of software accurately measures romantic compatibility !!!

Click here to check it out !!

I Really Do Heart Japan

2006-08-17T00:54:00.000+09:00

Like I said, I can't wait to get back to Japan.

Everything there is the same, but just a little bit twisted, in some kind of indefinable way.

Just like this video clip...

President and Mrs Bush

2006-08-16T20:47:00.000+09:00

BUSH
Originally uploaded by aveeno.

Gotta love a family portrait

I Heart Japan

2006-08-16T11:46:00.000+09:00


I am really missing Japan. Thank god I am going back there soon. And ever since I ended up in Graceland on the same day as Priscilla Presley, I have become a HUGE Elvis fan. So when it comes to double whammys, nothing beats Japanese Elvis impersonators.

While I'm on the subject of things Japanese, check out one of my favourite blogs, Konbini Life. This intrepid Gaijin bravely samples a huge variety of convenience store goodies and reviews them for our benefit.

Too Busy Living

2006-07-30T19:15:00.000+09:00

Well, I haven't been blogging much lately, or taking photos or any of that shit, because basically I have been too busy living.

But anyway, I'm back...and I have found some cool shit on the net to share with you all.

Here is a great ad I found. Well worth a look.

And if you liked that one, here is a rip off of it, which was subsequently banned by the residents of Swansea, Wales.

Apparently the producers of the ad left a giant sticky mess and couldnt be bothered cleaning it up. Enjoy.

Chalk Guevara

2006-06-26T00:26:00.000+09:00

Chalk Guevara
Originally uploaded by ♥ shhexycorin ♥.

Shhexycorin made this

Alcatraz E.R

2006-06-25T23:30:00.000+09:00

Nurse....NURSE !!!
Originally uploaded by Chalky Lives.

When Crazy Japanese Slut told me about this restaurant, she was horrified at the stories she had heard. This immediately piqued my interest, as anything that horrifies her must be something pretty fucking cool.

So apparently, scantily dressed nurses simulated anal rape in the dark. This seemed to be not too bad. In fact, I was determined to go. She was not interested.

ALCATRAZ ER
Originally uploaded by Chalky Lives.

I had to go for the old "dont you have the guts to try something new ?". After that didnt work, I reverted to the failsafe taunt...."What are ya, a nerd or something ??"

One hour later she was all dressed up and ready to go.

Anyway, I was disappointed. No anal rape from the nurses. In fact, they werent even scantily dressed. I suppose the setting was fairly unique, and the food and drink was OK, but hey.....my expectations were sky high

FOOTBALL

2006-06-05T06:30:00.000+09:00

Went to the footy in Melbourne yesterday to watch the mighty Demons defeat a demoralised St.Kilda.

Tried to take some photos, but they didnt work, so instead, I'll stick a video of Luke McPharlin's mark of the year, 2005, plus some highlights from when we played North (even though this dude got the scores wrong).

Account Deleted Again

2006-05-02T03:02:00.000+09:00

Flickr got me again. Cunts.

Leaving Japan..Going Home

2006-04-11T04:29:00.000+09:00

GFY
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I know I have been kinda slack with this blog shit...mainly because i have been too drunk and fucked up.

Anyway, I am looking forward to some dirty australian shit....and who better than the one of the Tassie Bong Sluts to tell you all to........

GO FUCK YOURSELVES !!!

I Heart Japan

2006-04-05T05:36:00.000+09:00

Japan is such a great country.

I really do love it here....

Goodbye USA

2006-04-04T01:21:00.000+09:00

So I'm done with the U.S.A

San Francisco is such a cool town. Friendly natives, great food, plenty to drink.

I will surely be back.

More San Franciscan Beggars

2006-04-01T01:59:00.000+09:00

Mr. Chalk, The Friendlist Australian Tourist in San Francisco
Originally uploaded by Thomas Hawk.

I saw this transvestite beggar getting arrested in the afternoon for beating up some other beggar in a wheelchair.

That night, after I had finished drinking 4000 beers, he came up to me and asked for money (as beggars do).

I was so surprised to see him again, I gave him 4 bucks and put my arm around him. My mate Thomas Hawk took the photo.

Now I think ive got the bird flu.

San Francisco

2006-04-01T01:53:00.000+09:00

Mr Chalk Greets the Locals
Originally uploaded by SF buckaroo.

As you can see, I have been making new friends.

Las Vegas, Nevada

2006-03-31T03:45:00.000+09:00

Gutter Vegas
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

If ya wanna check out my DIRTY VEGAS series of photographs, click here.

Vegas Neon Heart Attack

2006-03-30T00:22:00.000+09:00

Splash
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Went to Vegas for a short visit. Won enough to pay for my hotel and food.

Now I'm outta here, pants intact.

Chinese Tattoos

2006-03-29T10:27:00.000+09:00

1143396321754
Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

1143396318466
Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

13_abUdbEXblgyD
Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

12_GXAxUhFUZPSc
Originally uploaded by 华莱士.

Going down to Memphis

2006-03-29T05:33:00.000+09:00

Pimp Leroy and friends
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I got my arse down to Memphis, Tennessee, and yeah, that place is cool.

Hooked up with my boy, Pimp Leroy, who made sure I had a wicked time. Anyway, after a million beers and a steak, I passed out in the gutter, and woke up with old cigarette butts glued to my forehead.

Priscilla Presley at Graceland
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Anyway, after dragging myself back to my hotel, I decided to postpone my trip to Graceland, the Elvis Presley mansion till Monday, so as to avoid the crowds.

Well, when I got there, there was TV cameras and reporters and hundreds of people everywhere. I asked what was going on, and they told me that Graceland was being added to some Historic Register.

So I made like I was one of the paparazzi, pushed over a few children and old ladies, and got to the front of the pack.

Next thing, out walks PRISCILLA FUCKEN PRESLEY !!!

I couldnt believe it. I went snap happy, and got this fine shot of the woman. Can you believe she is 60 years old ?? Amazing what doctors can do these days, if ya pay em enough.

Nashville, Tennessee

2006-03-27T17:01:00.000+09:00

Tootsies
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to Nashville, the International Capital of Country Music.

At first it was kinda funny, ya know...redneck shit everywhere...and proud of it. No black fellas, pork ribs and good ole boys. Ha Ha Ha

Well, its not so funny after a few hours.

All I can say now is that if I smell another pork rib or hear one more note of country music, I am gonna puke everywhere...

THE KING OF NEW YORK

2006-03-26T20:42:00.000+09:00

CHALK VS. JAY BULGER
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to New York with a mate of mine, and he tells me we are gonna hang out with his buddy, Jay.

So we catch up with him and his friends for dinner. Top people, super friendly and all that. After being used to cunts everywhere I go, its a fucken relief to be hanging with some decent people.

Anyway, it turns out that Jay is far from normal. In fact, he is THE KING OF NEW FUCKEN YORK !!!

For the rest of the weekend, he is showing us round the city, free everything, treated like royalty, bottles of vodka in nightclubs, chicks everywhere, VIP non stop shit like you wouldnt believe.

I ask him what he does...turns out he is a boxer, film director, writer and top model. This bloke is on the cover of fucken Vogue, directing film clips for Arctic Monkeys and The Strokes...I mean, fuck, like I said, the king. He's just written a book and has been published in six magazines.

And you would expect a guy like that to have his head planted right up his arse.....Not this guy. Jay is a joker who takes the whole thing lightly and makes everyone feel comfortable.

So, as you would imagine, I had a good time in NYC.

United Airlines - Shit

2006-03-25T21:10:00.000+09:00

UnitedAirlines
Originally uploaded by The Envoy.

United Airlines is easily the world's crappiest airline.

There is no wonder these losers have gone bankrupt. Their aircraft are old and out of date, as are their ugly stewardesses. Actually, ugly is a compliment. These hairy uptight hags are as rude as any I have come across, and the service they provide is worse than what you would expect from a bus conductor.

Listen, everyone know that the U.S airlines are shit, especially compared to Asian or even European carriers, but hey, United are just a total and absolute joke.

DO NOT FLY with them if you have any say in the matter. They are so, so bad.

DANISH HIPPIES ARE CUNTS

2006-03-20T01:25:00.000+09:00

DANISH COPS
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to Christiania, the Danish hippy haven, to get some pot. Bought some off this guy and went to find somewhere to smoke it.

Anyway, I find this house that looks the part, and theres about 20 danish hippys walking around in the dark, smoking joints and shit. Looks ok, so I start rolling a joint, then this chick comes up to me and say "be careful, cops are around"

Cops are around ?? Im just rolling a fucken joint, not importing a sack of heroin for christs sake.

Anyway, i just finished making it, light it up, the next thing....8 cops bust in the room with torches flashing and cameras snapping !!!

I nearly swallowed the fucking joint I got such a shock. Stood on it, dumped the tiny bag of weed and milled around with the rest of the hippies, trying to act like nothing was going on.

Well, they coppers fucked around in there for 15 minutes then left. I thought Id just get my bag of pot and leave, but when I went to get it, some cunt goes..."thats my marijuana !!!" next thing, ive got a bunch of weirdos circling me, demanding I give the pot back to the fucker. Seeing I am a gutless wimp, I gave it to him and left. Then I had to go and buy some more.

So all ive got to say about Danish hippies is....what a bunch of CUNTS

CeBIT...The World's Biggest Nerdfest

2006-03-13T14:23:00.000+09:00

At CeBIT
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I made my way to Germany to attend the World's Biggest Nerdfest, CeBIT in Hanover.

This show is absolutely fucking massive....30 exhibition halls, all packed to the gills with computer and communication crap.

And there is one thing that all that computer shit attracts like bees to honey, and that is..........

CeBIT Supernerd
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

NERDS !!!

Thousands and thousands of them.

Nerds as far as they eye can see. There is so much nerdy crap on show here, it just pulls em in from all over the globe.

And if there is one thing that nerds love almost as much as computers, it would have to be.......

CeBIT Blonde Slut
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

SLUTS !!!

There were plenty of sluts cruising around the exhibition, all looking to lure nerds into their stands.

So while I was bored out of my mind, I took plenty of photos of nerds and sluts and have assembled them in a selection.

If you wasnt to view the NERDS OF CEBIT, click here.

If you want to view the SLUTS OF CEBIT, click here.

Now, its each to their own, but I must say that I prefer the sluts.

ISTANBUL....YEAH !!!

2006-03-12T16:43:00.000+09:00

Barefoot in the Mosque
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I fucked off from Dubai, with aching wrists and ankles, and next stop...ISTANBUL.

This place rocks !!! The people are cool, the food is delicious, and even though they have a scarf on their heads, you can see the womens faces.

One thing that kinda concerns me though is the lack of adventure.

I mean, all this travelling is good and well, but this blog i supposed to be about adventures, and so far, Im just doing normal shit.

I'm low on inspiration, folks. I just dont know what to do to get myself motivated.

So help me.

Tell me what the fuck I should do to spice things up a little.....and please, make it someting new.

That same old Loo Cam thing just aint gonna cut it

Istanbul Street Action
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Istanbul Tram
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Old Dubai

2006-03-08T15:54:00.000+09:00

3 Arabs
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Its not really old at all, but in black and white.......

Old Arab
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Old Arabs
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Sore Wrists

2006-03-08T14:53:00.000+09:00

At the Snow
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, the Falconer went on holidays, so I did the next most obvious thing to do in the middle of the desert....

GO SNOWBOARDING !!!

The sheiks have built a giant indoor mountain in Dubai, and I was in my rented blue and red ski suit, dodging women in burka style quilted jackets. One modern woman had a rasta hat over the top of her veil.

Anyway, I made it out of the giant freezer alive, but the surface was so fucking hard, my ankles and wrists are killing me.....

I think its about time I got outta here

The Arab World

2006-03-06T12:06:00.000+09:00

So now I'm in Dubai.

So I'm waiting for someone to recruit me into Al Qaeda

Then I'd have a real adventure to write about

Unfortunately the only adventure Ive had so far is when I slipped on the bathroom floor of my hotel room.

Anyway, today I think I'm going to go FALCONING, so I'll tell you all how it goes

Photo Competition

2006-03-03T16:57:00.000+09:00

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

OK, so I submitted this photo to the Gridskipper Photo Contest.

Gridskipper is this urban travel blog, and its fucken cool. In fact, I was tempted to keep it secret, but I want you to all vote for me, so I am spilling the beans.

Anyway, if you want to vote for me, and check out the website anyway, click here

By the way, i'm going to Dubai tomorrow

I'm Going

2006-03-01T17:23:00.000+09:00

Cinema
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Its about time I did something, so I'm going to get on a plane and fly around the world.

Not all at one go....I am going to stop off a few times, but anyway, I'm fucking off on Friday.

WOOHOOOO !!!!!

Urban Ninja

2006-02-27T07:39:00.000+09:00

Fucken Mental German Kid

2006-02-26T18:49:00.000+09:00

Autistic Basketball Player

2006-02-26T14:24:00.000+09:00

Don't Cry

Get the Fuck Outta Byron

2006-02-26T10:11:00.000+09:00

Out the Back
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So its time for me to get the fuck outta Byron.

Once I stop smoking a million bongs a day I will probably suffer a massive reflex overdose of creativity, so brace yourself for another mountain of self indulgent rantings.

Now leave me alone for 5 minutes so I can go and eat my fucking breakfast

Happy New Year

2006-01-14T09:19:00.000+09:00

46 Hours Non Stop Drug and Alcohol Abuse
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

In honor of the new year and all that shit, I have temporarily come out of retirement. 46 hours of non stop drug and alcohol abuse have softened my resolve, and I have resumed my stuffing around on the net.

Oh well, all I can say is that retirement was fucking great.

Anyway, a change is as good as a holiday, and I sure am due for another holiday.

Retirement

2005-11-11T18:10:00.000+09:00

Goodbye Everyone
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Hi Everyone,

I went for drinks with a few friends tonight, and I got chatting to this bloke Jaymse, and I am telling him how much I fucken hate computers. Especially the fucken internet. So after a bit, I start thinking to myself, "fuck this internet crap. I am fucken well retiring from the internet."

I mean, really, the internet is for fucken nerds and cunts with no mates, so i have decided to retire. My blog, and my Flickr account are now going to go to sleep, and I am finished with the lot of it. I am now going to be normal, and do some real shit, instead of punching crap into a keyboard all day and night

It has been great interacting with you all, but as of now, i am officially retired.

Thanks for your support, and good luck for the future,

Love and Light, Chalk

Arse Beer

2005-11-10T23:11:00.000+09:00

Arse Beer
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I got this "Arse Beer" clip, so kindly donated to this blog by "Sunshine". Now I got it working, but if you wanna watch it, ya gotta click here

Fat Cunt

2005-11-10T08:04:00.000+09:00

Anorexia Nervosa Case Study
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

I once had a girlfriend, who would fly into a rage every now and then. Her favourite insult was to call me a FAT CUNT.

Well, I suppose she was right, and since those days I have lost a few pounds. On this trip, though, I have been seriously indulging myself, and I feel I will have to go on a strict diet when I get home.

Until then, I will just keep eating, and in preparation for my extreme weight loss program, I will take photographs of anorexic women like this one.

Times Sqaure Chalk

2005-11-10T00:16:00.000+09:00

Times Sqaure Chalk
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Some people have accused me of being an egomaniac.

Well, I don't know about that, but one thing that I learned from my old school chum, Barry Carp was that it always pays to be a crowd pleaser.

So if egomaniac is what they think, then egomaniac is what they get.

It cost me a fortune to put this billboard up in Times Square, but hey, it was worth every penny.

Pirates Week

2005-11-07T17:47:00.002+09:00

Smiley the Pirate
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So, I'm in the Cayman Islands now, and I have walked into the biggest festival of the year, Pirates Week !!

Most countries commemorate independence day or some religious occasion or some war or something that happened, and make that into their national day.

Not here.

Caymans is about 2 things:

1. Money
2. The Sea

Pirate Princess
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So, they decided that they werent making enough money in the start of November. Therefore, they invented their national celebration, and called it Pirates Week. I suppose they called it Pirates Week instead of Pirates Day because you can make more money in a week than you can in a day.

This really is a strange place. 40% of the island are people on work permits who have come to make money. There is virtually no unemployment, and no tax, so everybody has plenty of cash to blow.

Drugs are seriously prohibited.

Elvis McPirate
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

The net result of all of this is that everyone gets drunk at night and then rolls home to sleep it off before work the next day.

There is also almost no violent crime.

And almost no rubbish.

As I said.....this is a strange place....but I like it !!!

Stealth Photography

2005-11-05T13:18:00.000+09:00

Roulette
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

I love taking forbidden photos

The Tackiest Place On Earth

2005-11-02T20:13:00.000+09:00

Moon Lounges
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, after having a wonderful time road testing the pink sand beaches and turquoise seas of Eleuthera, I am back in the capital of Bahamas, Nassau.

This time, I decided to stay at the ATLANTIS. Now this place is undoubtedly the tackiest place on earth. From the faux mayan temple, to the massive artificial sea habitat, this place reeks of tack.

Anyway, it has been loads of fun here in the Bahamas. The people were great, and I swear, I have never been to a fatter place in my life.

So now, its goodbye bahamas, HELLO CAYMANS !!!

Melbourne Cup

2005-11-01T14:00:00.000+09:00

Makybe Diva
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Its Melbourne Cup day today, and I am totally convinced that MAKYBE DIVA is going to make it 3 in a row. You would have to be completely off your head if you dont back her.

I will stake my reputation on this one...Makybe WILL WIN.

No go out and put the house on that horse. MAKYBE FUCKEN DIVA !!!

The greatest horse since Phar Lap, if not EVER

WHERE'S THE FISH ??

2005-10-29T20:26:00.000+09:00

On the Prowl
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So, I went to the Fish Fry, and when I got there, there was no Fish !! There was plenty of beer, though, so I slammed down about a dozen Kalik's and could hardly speak.

Then these two Bahamian Mama's rolled up and started giving me the eye and all that. They wanted to get naked, but all I could say was...

"WHERE'S THE FISH ???"

Hanging with the Pissheads

2005-10-29T03:59:00.000+09:00

Pissheads
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I am off to the event of the week here in Governors Harbour.

THE FISH FRY !!!

All the local pissheads are gonna be there, and I am going to be knocking back crappy Bahamas beer like there is no tomorrow.

And when I am spastic, I am gonna shovel mountains of barbecued Grouper and Snapper into my mouth.

And when thats all over, I am gonna invite a twenty stone chunky Bahamian mama back to my joint for some sweet loving, Bahamas style.

I love this place.

Thank God

2005-10-28T13:02:00.000+09:00

Smack
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Thank god they sell smack here. Otherwise I would be bored shitless.

Beach Bar

2005-10-27T13:48:00.000+09:00

Beach Bar
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

I'm thirsty

Fucking Wilma

2005-10-26T05:23:00.000+09:00

Waves on the Road
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Nothing much to report really.

The front doors blew off their hinges, the power lines went down, the sea wall broke, the streets flooded, but 24 hours later, everything is up and running, and I am back on line.

Now, does anybody have any good sex stories to share with the group ??

Hurricane Warning

2005-10-20T07:15:00.000+09:00

WILMA !!
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Now I'm in the Bahamas, and there is a hurricane warning going on.

They reckon its gonna hit the northern Bahamas on sunday.

Bring it on you fucken cunt of a storm. I am going to take this baby on. Flying to the northern Bahamas tomorrow, and I am going to play dice with the devil.

Lets see if this hurricane bullshit is all they make it out to be.

Welcome to Little Haiti

2005-10-18T11:26:00.000+09:00

Welcome
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So when I was in San Francisco, this mate of mine told me to check out Little Haiti when I got to Miami.

So I jumped in a cab and said, "Take me to Little Haiti". The driver looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. "Little Haiti ?? Are you sure ? I have never taken a white guy there in 16 years driving cabs !!"

So, as usual, I was going on Chalks tour of The Ghetto.

Well, I must say, the locals were amongst the friendliest people I have met. Especially Mr.Voodoo. He ran a religious items store, which was really a Voodoo store.

There were statues of the Maddona, Buddha, St.George and a whole range of christian saints. But what was really cool was the statues of dinosaurs, chickens and wolfmen.

Voodoo. The real thing. Unfortunately I didnt see any animal sacrifices, but like my mum says, you gotta leave something for next time...

Chalk and Mr.Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

In the Voodoo Shop
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Wolfman
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

200 years of Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

More Voodoo
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

South Beach Slut

2005-10-17T15:51:00.000+09:00

Classy
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I don;t know if she really was a slut, cos I took the photo then ran away.

It does sound good though

Plastic Surgery Disasters and Neon Nightmares

2005-10-16T23:55:00.000+09:00

Miami Neon Nightmare II
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Im in Miami, and all I can think about is Tony Montana and The Diaz Brothers.

There were so many sexy chicks around last night, it was doing my head in. Plenty of plastic surgery disasters too !!

I could hear the words of Scarface ringing in my ears..."First, jou get da money, Den, jou get da power, Den jou get da pussy"

I better get to work.

Oily Exploitation

2005-10-15T23:22:00.000+09:00

oily auld rickshaws
Originally uploaded by thePicaroony.

I tell ya, if there is one thing that really gets my goat, its the unfair treatment of the disabled.

This bloke who calls himself The Picaroony, is promoting the Oily Exploitation of Disabled Masseurs. By his own admission, he is lining up hapless cripples to do his greasy bidding. Someone has got to stop this guy quick.

San Fran Fucken Outta Here

2005-10-15T22:32:00.000+09:00

Door
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well it has been fun. San Francisco is one top city, and I have had a lovely time. Even though I fucked myself up good and proper, I still had a ball.

These are my basic observations about San Francisco:

1. Lots of dogshit on the street
2. More homeless cunts than Bombay
3. Good Sushi

Daily News
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

4. Hard to find a good breakfast
5. Loads of hippie scum
6. Rich cunts everywhere
7. Friendly Lesbians
8. Rampant respect for nerds,
9. Weird Therapeutic Massage Clinics

Now I gotta get my arse to Miami to pay homage to Elian Gonzalez. If there is one thing I hate, its those goddamn pinko communist Castro loving muthafukkas.

Well, actually, I dont give a fuck about politics, but I do like to blend in, so when I get to Little Havana, I am gonna hate those pinko scum, believe you me.

Therapeutic Massage

2005-10-13T16:38:00.000+09:00

Therapeutic Massage
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I asked my mate the doctor what I should do about my pulled hamstring. He said a good massage could help. What a surprise it was to find this place just around the corner from my hotel !!

I trust they are well trained massage therapists.

Insane or what ?

2005-10-13T10:33:00.000+09:00

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Have I gone completely insane ?

Well, let me tell you my latest adventure, and you can make up your mind for yourselves.

So, I decided to go for a little stroll, taking photos of crackheads and other assorted fun. Anyway, it was a lovely day, and my photo snapping was proceeding quite nicely, and I end up walking about 15 kilometers, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge on foot.

I get to the other side, and I am relaxing at the lookout point, when this dodgy cunt comes up to me and asks me for 2 bucks. This fucker is all clean and nice, and Im thinking to myself, "fuck off mate, you are a crook". So I tell him that he is being unreasonable, and the most I will offer him is a few coins.

To my surprise, he starts abusing the shit out of me and starts getting right up in my face. Now this pisses me off, and like the dickhead that I am, I take him on and start pushing him away. Anyway, the next thing I know, the cunt has grabbed my sunglasses off my face and runs away with them !!

Now, I haven't run anywhere in about 5 months or more, but my instinctive reaction was to chase the fuck. Anyway, about 3 paces into my pursuit, I pulled my fucking hamstring, and the cunt disappears into the distance. Now I was stranded, and had to walk for about 2 kms to find a cab with a fucked up hammy.

Anyway, now I am fucked. Can hardly walk, and am in pain.

What a cunt.

San Fran Crackheads

2005-10-13T00:37:00.000+09:00

Ready For Combat
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

My latest mission involves going up to crack heads and taking their picture.

Smiling
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Gold Teeth
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

This kid isnt a crackhead yet, but his teeth were so shiny, I had to take his picture.

Jetlagged To The Fucken Shit

2005-10-12T01:03:00.000+09:00

San Francisco Burning
Originally uploaded by aqui-ali.

Well, I made it to San Fran Fucken Cisco, and I am so jetlagged its ridiculous. It feels like someone poured a bucket of sand in my eyes.

Anyway, Im going to check out this Rob Brezny dude tomight at some hippy bookshop. My friend, crazy japanese slut, advised me to check it out, and I always follow good advice.

Speaking of which, I am still waiting for advice as to what to do with the rest of my time. As previously stated, I am a bored cunt with too much time on his hands, and as such, need someone to provide me with direction.

Anyway, Im going to have some breakfast.

Seeya.

Goodbye Honkers

2005-10-11T20:05:00.000+09:00

Descent
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, it was fun wandering around hongkong for a couple of days. now it time for the next leg of this adventure....

SAN FRAN FUCKEN CISCO !!!

So I am starting to loosen up a bit, and I am feeling like some kind of unacceptable behaviour is around the corner. I am buying my new camera here, and am open to suggestions as to what I should take pictures of.

Any ideas ?

SHA TIN RACES

2005-10-09T17:55:00.000+09:00

GO NUMBER 3 !!
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

So I went to the races, and couldnt win a single bet. Oh well, it was a cultural experience. The chinese dont show much emotion, thats for sure....

Oh, and if you want to see some more of my HongKong pictures, click here

Please Be Seated For Landing

2005-10-09T09:18:00.000+09:00

Please Be Seated For Landing
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

OK. I finally managed to put my shit together, and have made it out of Byron.

What was supposed to be a 4 weeks hiatus turned into 5 months of stoned indulgence. Anyway, I have gotten off my arse, jumped on a plane, and am now back on the road.

Now in Hong Kong, I am about to head down for some breakfast. After that, some street wandering, followed by a journey to the famous SHA TIN races. I will be betting like a madman, and will take many photos as well.

Ah, great to be back out there....

TIME TO GO

2005-10-06T22:36:00.000+09:00

my new fridge
Originally uploaded by Chalkstar.

Well, I have been sitting around like a pathetic piece of shit for TOO FUCKING LONG.

So the time has come, to get off my lazy arse and go and see some of the world again.

As you have seen, I have descended into a world devoid of creativity. So anyway, enough of that. Its time to crawl out, and smell the sweet fumes of diesel exhaust.

I'm going away. On Saturday.

I will be keeping you all up to date, once again, and will be getting a new camera. This is gonna be fun.

HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH DRUGS ???

2005-09-01T20:59:00.000+09:00

Some guys just dont know when they have had enough.....

Nappy Men

2005-08-30T10:48:00.000+09:00

Well, it seems the latest craze these days is men in nappys. In England, anyway.

If you dont believe me, here is a little snippet from a recent BBC news story:

MAN IN NAPPY IS HUNTED BY POLICE

A man dressed only in a nappy who has approached a number of women on Teesside is being hunted by police.
The man has hidden in bushes in Eaglescliffe before moving towards the women and asking: "Are there any baby changing facilities in the area?"

Cleveland Police said they are becoming increasingly concerned about the man's behaviour after several incidents in the past few months. They want anyone with information about the man to contact them. The latest happened on Sunday night in a play area on Wentworth Way.

'Bizarre antics'

The man approached a woman walking her dog and said to her: "Are there any baby changing facilities in the area?" The startled woman said no and walked off, leaving the man still running around dressed in his nappy.

Insp Ian Garrett said no-one had been assaulted but the man's antics were bizarre and a cause for concern. He said: "There have been several reports of him having been seen in Eaglescliffe dressed only in a nappy and we are keen to trace him and speak to him."

Similar sightings earlier this year in the Stockton area of a man also wearing just a nappy are not being connected.

Now, here is the link in case you don't believe me:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tees/4153528.stm

As my sister said...."only the english..."

Why I love the internet

2005-08-28T12:17:00.000+09:00

So, as many of you would already know, I have been wasting all my time fucking around with that Flickr website. So anyway, coz its the internet, I can make people think i am really tough by saying cunt a few times and putting criminal type pictures of myself up there. Little do they know what a FUCKEN WIMP I am....

Anyway, This girl thought I was a bad boy and did a blog thing about me. Cool huh ??

Anyway, I cant believe this, but she called my photo BOG AWFUL. Is that a slap in the face because she hates me, or was she just embarrased about saying good things about me and had to moderate it with an insult ?

What do you think ???

Oh, and if you havent figured out how to read her blog thing about me, CLICK ON THESE WORDS, YOU FUCKEN DUMB CUNTS

The Underpants Puller

2005-08-21T11:12:00.000+09:00

Japan. Different.

Snake Season

2005-08-20T13:32:00.000+09:00

Yesterday, I found a big old carpet snake in my barbecue.

Today, it had moved into my loungeroom.

Oh well, looks like I got a new house mate...

Anti Semitism

2005-08-14T04:31:00.000+09:00

just wrong
Originally uploaded by cygnoir.

I am sick of all the Anti Semitism on the internet. This photo takes the cake !!!

Glastonbury

2005-08-12T21:12:00.000+09:00

A friend of a friend took this at glastonbury

Nurse

2005-08-05T02:43:00.000+09:00

This is for the bored dude

Getting There...

2005-08-03T13:28:00.000+09:00

CHeck out the test video blog. and the photos link is working as well.

Another Glorious Victory

2005-07-21T09:10:00.000+09:00

They banned me from Flickr. BANNED.

How many of you fuckers can honestly claim to have been banned from a website for misconduct. They even changed their software to try preventing me from joining up again !!

Anyway, I had another glorious victory over those Deleteme nerds.....they had to effectively shut their motherfucken group down in order to keep me out. Sooner or later they will open it up again, and I will seek and destroy.

These fuckers cant stop crapping on about me and that is 2 days after I have been booted out.

Anyway, now its time for the latest cutting edge development in chalk world...

VIDEOBLOGGING

Video Blogging

2005-07-20T22:01:00.000+09:00

Just testing this out.

These are short clips of a street parade in Madrid

Good Morning Sydney

2005-07-07T11:49:00.000+09:00

This one is for s2art

Sydney Tomorrow

2005-07-05T17:41:00.000+09:00

Australia2 142
Originally uploaded by robynw.

So I'm off to Sydney tomorrow for a couple of days of fun and games. Staying in Kings Cross, so there will be lots of filthy shit for me to photgraph.

Anything in particularly you want me to take pictures of ???

Flickr Wars

2005-07-01T08:25:00.000+09:00

So the Flickr War is over. Brave battles were fought, and against all odds, we emerged victorious.

There has been some suggestion that we should go back in there to stick it up em one more time, but I think its time to take our crown and move on.

I mean, really, those poor cunts are just a bunch of nerds, Its not healthy to hang around people like that. Its infectious.

So fuck everything, its time for another Adventure

Bored Again

2005-06-30T20:44:00.000+09:00

Well, now that the glorious victory over the french cunts has been acheived, I am must say that once again.....

I am bored.

French Cunt

2005-06-29T23:18:00.000+09:00

I still can't believe how that French cunt Vinnie fucked himself up so badly.

Going Away

2005-06-29T18:41:00.000+09:00

So I am going overseas in a couple of weeks, and I have to decide where to go. I'm going to get a "round the world" ticlet, so I can pretty much go wherever.

But really, I want you to tell me where the fuck to go

The Botanical Gardens

2005-06-29T11:09:00.000+09:00

If there's one thing I love about Melbourne, its the Botanical Gardens.

So beautiful, so lush, and right in the heart of the city.

Mmmmmmm

Victory

2005-06-29T00:36:00.000+09:00

Well done, troops.

We have brought them to their knees. Deleteme is now BY INVITATION ONLY.

Our first objective has been acheived. Their group is now doomed, as they will not be able to effectively grow.

Congratulations on a job well done.

The Story of Flickr

2005-06-26T19:22:00.000+09:00

Well, you may have noticed over the last couple of weeks that my blog contributions have been dying in the arse.

Well there is a good reason for this.

I have been obsessed with getting under the skin of a couple of arrogant French cunts.

Anyway, it ended in tears.

I got an email from these Flickr fuckheads as follows:

Your account has been deleted as due to:

Multiple strikes for behaviour contravening our Terms of
Use. In the end, your own words support this:

"I don't really give a fuck about all this Flickr crap. I
am just here to cause a disturbance."

Given your behaviour over the last few weeks, your
statement on former profile, the Impersonation of of other Flickr members and harassment of the Delete Me group and your general incitement within your own groups to make like difficult for other groups, what negotiation should there be?

As per out Terms of Use, we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason at any time.

Heather

Now even though this little dispute has temporarily fucked up all the photos on this blog, I still managed to get a few people fucked off, disrupted the smooth operation of a internet group and had a generally entertaining experience.

All round, I would say, mission accomplished.

Go Demons

2005-06-23T09:34:00.000+09:00

As I said earlier, and despite the know-it-all chalkfans claiming i was an idiot,

DEMONS FOR PREMIERS 2005

Aussie Aussie Aussie

2005-06-22T19:19:00.000+09:00

What the fuck is going on with the Aussie cricket team ??
They are fucked !!
What the fuck is Ponting going to do ?

Melbourne....Yeah !!!

2005-06-17T07:20:00.000+09:00

OK, so now I'm in Melbourne, and boy, is it fun. I am making a point of eating at ever classic old school Melbourne restaurant. My list is as follows:

Leos
Pellegrinis
Flower Drum
Scheherezade

Tonight I'm going to the casino and tomorrow Im going to the football.

What a life !!!

Going Somewhere

2005-06-14T11:12:00.000+09:00

Yes, I am finally getting off my arse and going somewhere.

Destination Melbourne for a week of action packed city entertainment.

I will be sure to take a million photos and will be keeping you all updated.

Love Chalk

Barbecue

2005-06-14T10:19:00.000+09:00

Had a barbie at my place on the weekend.

Ate like a pig. Got completely off my head, stayed up all night and made a mess of everything.

Yeah.

Empty Beach

2005-06-09T11:39:00.000+09:00

Went to the beach this morning to see some whales. There was no whales, so I had to photograph this boring, uninspiring scenery instead.

Police Encounter

2005-06-07T20:48:00.000+09:00

COP: "Hey mate, whats the camera for ?"
ME: "Just for taking a few photos"
COP: "Oh, OK then"

CYRIL SAID....

2005-06-07T11:51:00.000+09:00

CYRIL SAID....
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Thanks for destroying my innocent childhood memories, everyone. Now how do you like my new t shirt design ??

The King

2005-06-07T08:17:00.000+09:00

The King
Originally uploaded by Mr. Chalk.

Kill Derryn Hinch

No Stopping

2005-06-06T05:50:00.000+09:00

OK, so we are agreed that I am going away again. We are pretty much agreed on the NO LUGGAGE concept in some form.

Now, the bigger question...

WHERE TO ????

Any suggestions ?

Rat

2005-06-05T08:05:00.000+09:00

Rat
Originally uploaded by jip.

So I was sitting on my couch and I noticed this unpleasant odor. I searched around for a bag of old rubbish, then started to suspect an overflowing septic tank.

Anyway, it got worse, and I started to think some dirty feral had smeared some shit on my furniture or something.

Anyway, I found it. Dead rat, under the fucken cushion of my couch. I must have sat on it and squashed it to death.

Stinky rotten dead mutherfukka.

Now I feel sick.

radio

2005-06-03T15:53:00.000+09:00

Im on the fucken radio again tonight. check your time zone on the right.